we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
