I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
