Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
