Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
