Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize
