ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
