sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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