I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
