I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
