Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
