I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
