yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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