marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
