I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
