I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
