you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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