worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
