The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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