"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Randomize
