someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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