pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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