"it" just moved
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
