Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
And the cops told us we were all naked.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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