My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I think my moral compass just broke
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
