Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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