So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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