i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
