I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
