"it" just moved
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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