I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He felt like a one man threesome
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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