it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
