Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
