fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
