I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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