your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
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