I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
