Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
