The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
