walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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