hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
