your room smells of hookers.
And success
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
