I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
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