I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
