"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
