Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
