YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
