careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Randomize
