Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
