Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
