i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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