I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
