then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
