i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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