I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
