nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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