kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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